venerdì 3 ottobre 2008

A Prejudiced Skyline

Today...was a hard day. I hate admitting that I am homesick, or even the action of being homesick. But the feeling of being homesick isn't what I expected. I thought it was just the missing of family and friends, wishing you could talk to them, help them, BE with them. But, that isn't it. While the desire of loved ones by my side is a constant feeling, it cannot describe...what I am. Maybe that is the definition of being human, having indescribable emotions. True, no one said this would be easy.
I mostly just didn't want to go to school today, maybe that's it. I barely understand anything and today and yesterday consist of the classes that rely on language the most: Italian, Philosophy, Physics, Chemistry, and Biology. Math isn't too hard, English is just a little embarrassing, and my other classes I only have once a week. But Physics nearly pushed me over the edge. We had to make graphs for an experiment we did with a pendulum, counting the time it took to swing back and forth 10 times. So, I worked on my graph with a girlfriend in my class yesterday, we compared data and ended up with the exact same graph. I put emphasis on this because it is the whole point of this event. My last 2 hours of today were Physics, and my teacher starts his class my walking around the room, looking at everyones data. By now, all my professors know that I am an American and don't speak or understand Italian all that well. I think the dictionary sitting in the corner of my deck tipped them off if nothing else did. But, anyways, he comes to my desk and I sit with the two girls in my class, one of them being the girl I worked on the assignment with. He picks up her graph and smiles, says 'bellisimo', 'come un skyline' (beautiful, looks like a city skyline). Then he comes to my desk, and asks me why there is a gap in between two of the numbers on the x axis. I say in Italian, 'because there wasn't a set of numbers there, in the data'. He sighs, he tells me, in broken english, that all the intervals in the graph need to be the same. 'OK...' I say, 'They are, this interval is one'. He just scribbles out my numbers in pen on my pretty graph, and tells me to pay more attention to his class.
He walks away, I am stunned. I look back at my friends graph, I compare again, maybe I did make a mistake. But, then the embarrassment and the anger comes, they are exactly the same. Same intervals, same everything, I look at the rest of my classmates too. All the graphs are the same, all of them are approved by the teacher. He had already assumed I was wrong, he didn't like my graph....what a stupid American. How many forces can work against one person, how may obstacles can be in my way? What do I do now?

2 commenti:

kaylee ha detto...

o darling, well look this is what we say keep up the good work and learn the material. that is the most important thing. screw his approval, the parents may not aprove of the language i use but they agree with the concept. personally i would take the diffrent papers and slam them in his face making him acknowledge the similarities. but we both know i have anger issues and that you are better then that. you will win him over or you wont but either way you will learn. you have 2 prejudices working against you being an american women. but your strong and you have strong people standing behind you and rooting you on. we may be miles away but your still in our heart and soul. im sending you the biggest hug, hope, love and strenght that i can. i know its tuff and i know it hurts but babydoll its new and soon things will get better, time can heal people so just stick in there and live on the fast that you are amazing brilliant and loved. above all you are loved. i love you so much!
-kaileigh

maysbox ha detto...

Your obstacle now is being hypocriticalized but your teacher. He assumes and prove him wrong, i know you can. Yours great at doing what you do and dont let that bring you down. Tell him he's wrong compare to others graphs show him what you've got. Dont let them win!!!

Missing the people afar is always natural and some only so naturally. I cant help but miss you. I Honest to god truth, that life feels a bit empty without you. Not knowing your there and we can share things whenever we want, and only through the stream of internet. Not by voice touch or images. Just words on a monitor screen.
To me your always who you are and nothing else, but better (: